En el Cinematógrafo Doña Sol de la calle Hugonote de Hernani, en el País Vasco, nació F. M. Pomeroy entre algodones de azúcar y sombras polichinescas. Sentado en la butaca número 76, observó su propio parto mientras el acomodador se deshacía en disculpas a los más de siete espectadores que huían despavoridos por semejante espectáculo. Hubo hasta quien lanzó huevos y acelgas al lienzo de la pantalla, y es que es bien sabido que todo niño nace con un pan bajo el brazo.
F. M. pasó sus veinte primeros años de vida atornillado a la misma butaca verde, tomando innumerables notas sobre la anatomía de los personajes de Méliès, Stroheim o Murnau en su cuaderno de caligrafía. Una tarde de agosto de mucho tráfico, decidió que ya estaba preparado para el mundanal ruido, así que metió sus mil tres cuadernos de notas en un gran baúl de madera de roble y, tras despedirse de la señora del sombrero de la butaca 74, se lanzó al proceloso mar del mundo del arte.
Lo primero que hizo fue alquilar un pequeño estudio de las afueras a un señor con hombreras que resultó ser el celebérrimo coronel Zumalacárregui. El inmueble era amplio, luminoso y bastante barato, pero completamente inutilizable para sus fines, puesto que estaba repleto de fardos de pólvora y garrafas de aguardiente.
Antes de echarse a perder con semejante compañía, el bueno de Pomeroy decidió hacer de tripas corazón, pero, como no estaba acostumbrado a tales desmanes anatómicos, tuvo que ser operado de inmediato en el Novísimo Hospital Quirúrgico y Penibético Carlos María Isidro de Hernani. Tras veinte minutos de convalecencia recibió la visita de su casero, el coronel Zumalacárregui, que le convenció para que se apuntase a un cursillo de zapador. Así fue cómo don F. M. se vio metido de lleno en las guerras carlistas.
Huido de la Justicia, estuvo más de tres lustros vagando de caserío en caserío por los montes norteños y, entre tiro y tiro, tuvo tiempo para esculpir el busto de la presidenta del Círculo Rústico de Sangüesa y componer aquella maravillosa tonada que es “The Partisan” de Leonard Cohen. Todas sus peripecias como lugarteniente de Zumalacárregui están recogidas en el cantar de ciego “The Rise and Fall of the House of Vacilo Verja”, mote este último que adoptó para sus juergas carlistas.
Pero el mundo cambió con el resurgimiento de la gimnasia y las olimpíadas, y F. M. se amoldó a los tiempos con una idea genial: dedicar su arte al servicio del cuerpo. Ars sana in corpore sano. Así fue cómo F. M. Pomeroy llegó a ser mundialmente conocido por sus excelsos diseños de trofeos de culturismo. Suyos son los bronces que destacan en las vitrinas de grandes héroes del músculo como Victor Mature, Schwartz Arnold o Chiang Kai-Chek.
Para terminar, baste decir que en sus ratos libres es un poco pianista.
12 Comments:
Este Pomeroy es la monda.
Me refería al nuevo del grupo,no del blog,que sus fans(aunque seamos un par...que yo sepa)demandamos información.
Yo ya lo saqué de incognita en mi blog,no con el alter ego de misquious.
Baci
¿Quién o qué es el nuevo? Pues la verdad es que no hay tal nuevo, o en principio no lo va a haber. El asunto sólo fue una reflexión para ver si necesitábamos a alguien más, pero de momento nos bastamos nosotros solitos.
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